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Sunday, May 31, 2009

Bribery at the Grocery Store

I am well aware that bribery with children is not uncommon. I swore I would never become one of those parents. I would have such well-behaved and disciplined children that bribery would be completely unnecessary and foolish. Fast forward to me having children. I think that went out the window in the first 12-18 months when my first child was mastering walking and talking.

Today, in the checkout line, at the grocery store, as my oldest two children were pummeling each other, I didn't so much bribe as I lied. I neurotically scolded, Stop hitting your sister. See all these cameras on the ceiling. *they look up*. The policemen are going to see you and come and take you away. If they don't, I'm going to call them. Half chuckling, half embarrassed at my stupidity, I turn back to the cashier to see her smirking and say, Whatever works, and the lady behind me whose eyes seemed to say I've been there too.

Alright, so bribery would have been more like allowing them to swipe all the chocolate in the aisle to get them to listen to me. Whatever. Lies and bribery go hand-in-hand, after all.

Of course, my wise-cracking eldest will usually respond with something like Uncle Mike is a police officer, he'll take care of us. So, much for using the illusion of police authority to scare my kids. Hmmmm, maybe a different, more sensible approach would be better.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Bad Blogger

I admit, I'm the world's worst blogger. I can't focus on more than one blog at once. I SWORE I would write here once a week, you know for that one person who might read my blog. Obviously, I have failed miserably.

To my latest commenting reader, no, it's no longer snowing. Thank heavens! The sun is actually shining here today and the children and I are headed to the park to meet up with one of my oldest daughter's friends. She hasn't seen her since December and has no idea we are going. She is going to be so surprised.

Let's see what else is going on....I just vacuumed my kitchen and living room. Actually, I more or less chased my 2 year old around with the vacuum as he exclaimed with glee; all the while scolding my middle child who was running around naked. That child is a wild one. Thankfully she has long since grown out of the stage where she would strip buck naked in the middle of a department store. Gosh, those days were fun.

As I'm typing this I have just run to get the phone three times. Apparently, my darling husband misses me so much or he can't answer his own questions. It's no wonder I don't get any blogging done.

Ta ta for now.