Bribery at the Grocery Store

I am well aware that bribery with children is not uncommon. I swore I would never become one of those parents. I would have such well-behaved and disciplined children that bribery would be completely unnecessary and foolish. Fast forward to me having children. I think that went out the window in the first 12-18 months when my first child was mastering walking and talking.

Today, in the checkout line, at the grocery store, as my oldest two children were pummeling each other, I didn't so much bribe as I lied. I neurotically scolded, Stop hitting your sister. See all these cameras on the ceiling. *they look up*. The policemen are going to see you and come and take you away. If they don't, I'm going to call them. Half chuckling, half embarrassed at my stupidity, I turn back to the cashier to see her smirking and say, Whatever works, and the lady behind me whose eyes seemed to say I've been there too.

Alright, so bribery would have been more like allowing them to swipe all the chocolate in the aisle to get them to listen to me. Whatever. Lies and bribery go hand-in-hand, after all.

Of course, my wise-cracking eldest will usually respond with something like Uncle Mike is a police officer, he'll take care of us. So, much for using the illusion of police authority to scare my kids. Hmmmm, maybe a different, more sensible approach would be better.