I strive to be a very good friend and a positive person. Though, there are just folks who take, and take, and take and now that I am reaching a certain point in my life I have had enough. You see, I am a giver. I am a good friend and I try with all my heart and soul to be a good mother and loving wife. I like to help folks and laugh and share memories and build relationships. It is what I do. I cannot do it all on my own though. You know what I am talking about. You have had this happen to you too, haven't you?
It's tiring. It's frankly just not nice. It's not fun to have to accomodate others ALL the time and have them bail on you. It's not okay to whine, whine and whine all the time and hope I come running because I might be busy battling another dragon right now. I have my own commitments and things going on, but I put up a good facade and try to show the world it's all hunky dory. That's how I get through the day sometimes. I smile and do good unto others hoping the circle will come back around. Of course, that is not terribly an altruistic way of thinking, but we as humans do want to do good deeds in hopes that we will have good done unto us, right?
I understand you have trials and tribulations of your own, but when is the last time you asked about mine? I am not seeking pity here, but I want all of you who understand what I am saying to remember that asking your friend or neighbor or aunt or mailman genuinely how they are doing and actually care about their answer that you may make more of a difference in their lives than you could imagine. Just realize it is not all about you.
Sure it stinks when you cannot afford the ridiculous things you spend money on, but I have a mortgage and a rent to worry about, a houseful of hungry mouths and clothes to buy to fit their bodies, but that which isn't likely fashionable because unfortunately we are not rich. Oh, and that guy you brag about, don't even get me started because I have one too, but he is frequently gone. Scratch that, always seems more like it. Yes, he has his faults and we have our differences, but I don't need you to remind me of that because we work through it. I need my friend to just hold my hand and be there not criticize things. I am a strong and intelligent woman, I know a little more than you think I do.
Oh, and if you think these babies I had (and love and adore) are a piece of cake or maybe that their discipline is lacking and I should just not take them into public because you don't want to hear their misbehaving; maybe ask me what is going on. Psychologists and therapists are trying to figure that out right now, but you were too ignorant to ever consider that probably.
Oops, getting carried away there.....Yes, giving and friendship is about just that and no one should EXPECT anything in return, but reciprocation is nice. I don't want to be friends only sometimes. I don't want to have to try and work too hard. That is not a real friendship. I have done it too many times over and just don't have the energy anymore.
My house has an open door and friends and many strangers have been welcomed here for a meal, a shoulder to cry on, support, giggles, a chair to borrow, for childcare and just well, just because. I will probably always be like that, and that may be a fault of mine, but to me life is about the people you surround yourself with. I want to make them smile, but just every now and again I want to know I am appreciated too.
Please pass the chardonnay.
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