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Thursday, April 3, 2008

A day in the trenches warrants research for provisions.

Sometimes the little ones give me monster size headaches. They pull hair, attack each other, bite me, seriously, it’s like a war zone here. Alright, not every day, but even five minutes of that insane behavior can make one feel like the most inept mother who is ready for the loony bin.

To contain them, and for my own protection, I’ve decided to research some options. I may have to resort digging a foxhole in my backyard just to hide from them. Of course I could also put up constantina wire right outside their bedroom door so they can’t escape into the general area of the house where I frequently roam without a care in the world. No, that won’t do, they might just kill each other if cooped up for too long.

For the baby, I did find this. Barbed Wire Crib Fashionable, eh? Um, no, I didn’t think so either. I think I’ll have to pass. Now, if it had real barbed wire, it might be more appealing. At least it would keep the big kids from climbing into the crib to launch an attack on the infant.

I’ve also contemplated camouflage body painting so as to blend in with the walls of my house. If they can’t see me, they can’t ask me questions or beg for things. Though, I’ve yet to see a chameleon camo design that will morph as I change rooms. I will be on the lookout for it though.

One of my next investments though will likely be trip wire. Those little boogers stealthily creep into my bed in the middle of the night just as I’ve hit a deep sleep. The problem is I don’t hear them. I awake later on to have a near heart attack as I’m being pushed out of my bed.

Can you tell, it’s been quite a day already?


If you are on the brink of tears thinking "This woman has lost her mind", fear not. I remind you to read a brief mention about my sarcasm: Posting in Jest

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